My Story

It was 3 pm on a Tuesday afternoon in the fall of 2005. I had just come out of a room with a patient with 2 weeks of excruciating pain from a cervical radiculopathy. Magnetic Resonant Imaging was emerging onto the field and the EM doctors were required to get approval from other specialists to order an MRI. I saw that our new neurosurgeon was on call so I took the opportunity to introduce myself to him.

I had been out of residency since 2011 and I knew that when you speak with a surgeon, it is important to be brief and to the point. I began by quickly welcoming him to the community and introducing myself. I then went on to succinctly present the patient to him. The first thing he said to me was, “Just because you have a surgeon on call, doesn’t mean you call me for every medical patient you see in the ER.” Pregnant pause #1. I replied, “Dr so and so, this is the first time you spoke with me and this is how you talk to me?” Pregnant pause #2.  I expect he went on to describe the natural course of cervical radiculopathy; but I don’t recall much because my amygdala had hijacked my frontal lobes! I didn’t have permission to order an MRI.

I took care of the patient by getting permission from the radiologist. Then I spewed bile to whomever would listen. This was not the first time that I felt disrespected by my colleagues and it would not be the last. I started to wonder what I could do to build skills in myself and others to make collaboration with our peers for the benefit of the patient more likely.

The most unfortunate part of this story is that the neurosurgeon left the organization within a few months. He was offered no coaching. I know that he didn’t last long at the next facility either. This might have been avoided.

When I received an invitation to apply for a Bush medical fellowship shortly afterward, I started to design my curriculum. I wanted to build my skills in communication and leadership as well as learn about how to help my colleagues learn to collaborate with their peers.

I became a professional coach, a crucial conversation instructor, studied with the Academy of Communications in Healthcare, American Association of Physician Leadership, Kennedy School of Government, did an American College Emergency Physician teaching Fellowship and became qualified to administer personality assessments. To fill the gap I perceived between frontline clinicians and administration I went on to learn how to ask wicked questions and host conversations so that the perspectives that are needed are considered in decisions. I learned to design meetings that participants could walk away from and feel they were heard.

The work I do now is focused on the agency of physicians and other Healthcare Workers; their personal agency, their agency to influence others, and their collective agency. Having a voice in how we care for patients matters to our well-being. How can we nurture agency in ourselves, our work unit, and our community?